


Why He Even Brings the Thunder

by Truetomorrow



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
Genre: Crack, Cracky courtroom drama, GRADENCE - Freeform, Gen, I am not a lawyer nor do I play one on TV, I just listen to a lot of Hamilton and have been watching a lot of Psych and The West Wing, Just a little bit of cracky fun to start off the year, ish, nothing overt, where is percival graves 2k18
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-07
Updated: 2018-01-07
Packaged: 2019-03-01 11:43:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13294146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Truetomorrow/pseuds/Truetomorrow
Summary: Percival Graves has been found, safe and sound, and now Grindelwald stands trial for his biggest crime yet... Copyright infringement?





	Why He Even Brings the Thunder

**Author's Note:**

> Hamilton and other pop culture references galore! Also, I am not a lawyer, and everything I know about copyright mostly comes from one semester of library ethics and a section in an archives course in grad school. I googled a teeny bit, but hey, this is fanFiction for a reason ;D
> 
> Unofficially dedicated to Liv, who has been poking at me to actually write the Extra™ Percival fic since I first mentioned it... months ago. And to Nork, because hellooooooo. Hamilton and etc. <3<3

“Percival, what in the seven hells?” The man who has just been Summoned into the chamber immediately zeroes in on the subject of his fury, and Gellert Grindelwald slams himself ineffectually against the magical barrier keeping him contained, eyes wild with anger. “You are _suing_ me?”

“Ahhh, Grindelwald, so glad you could join us. I do hope you are not insulted when I tell you how little I had hoped to ever see you again.” Percival Graves calmly stands from his seat and moves towards the witness stand. “Unfortunately, you tried that little escape trick, so here we are.”

Just before taking his seat, he raises a finger to his lips in a shushing motion while flipping his coat out behind him; ignoring how that causes half of those in the juror box to sigh, and Seraphina to roll her eyes where she sits in the front of the room.

“If you don’t mind, we should begin the proceedings?” Without bothering to wait for a response from the cool and collected Director or the now Silenced, but still sputtering, Grindelwald, Seraphina raises her wand to her throat.

Magically magnified, her voice rings out into the open room, “My decision on this matter is not subject to congressional approval. The British Minister and I are here to oversee the final verdict, but the jury is the only one you must convince.” With a glance to the man sitting beside her, on a slightly lower chair and sweating nervously, it is clear who the actual decision-maker will be.

Seraphina smiles, a sharp expression that makes the Minister quake slightly as he swiftly nods his agreement. She settles herself back into the President’s chair and smooths her dress robes over her knees. “Percival, you have the floor.”

Percival leans back in his chair with an easy grin, suit impeccable and coat cutting a dashing—if unseasonable in the warmth of the chamber— figure; the picture of leisure. Stifled sighs again come from the side of the room, and a few pops from cameras go off before Auror Lopez moves to stand before the box.

“Please state your name and position for the court.” The Auror’s voice is measured and steady—professional.

Leaning forward, Percival clears his throat and says, “Percival Graves. Head of Magical Law Enforcement and Director of Magical Security for MACUSA.”

“Thank you. Please state your case.”

“It would be my pleasure.” Percival spares no more than a glance to the furious man in his magical cage before focusing all of his attention on the jury, the thirteen witches and wizards he needs to convince. “It all began back in 1920 with the campaign for Auror recruitment. I was Head Auror at the time, and doing my duty to bring in new recruits. The team in charge of promotion, however, used my face on adverts without my permission.”

Murmurs of shock and outrage—and most pleasant to Percival: admiration—ripple through those in attendance, and Percival shoots an easy grin at those assembled. “My sentiments precisely. So, I did what any reasonable man in my position would do.” Seraphina chokes back a laugh, swiftly disguised as a cough. Percival ignores her. “I placed a copyright on my face. No one could use my face without my express permission.”

The entire courtroom is absolutely silent. Rapt with attention. A few heads nod along with his statement, and Percival lets out a beleaguered sigh.

“I was willing to let it all slide, send him back to Europe to be tried there… unfortunately, circumstances beyond my control precipitated this incarceration. If not for the quick thinking of my young protégé—”

Percival motions towards Credence, sitting in the second row, squished between the protective Goldsteins, and Credence ducks his head with a softly muttered “ _aw, shucks”_ and Seraphina rolls her eyes, aware no one is paying her any mind; Percival winks at the boy while everyone’s focus is momentarily turned from him.

“If not for this brave young man, who _knows_ what devastation could have occurred? What if Grindelwald had gone out in public with hair akimbo? What if he had _worn last year’s fashions_?” This query is met by gasps of dismay, and Percival raises a hand to calm them, and draw their attention more firmly back to himself. It is Credence’s turn to wink, and Percival cannot _wait_ to get home and again show his gratitude to his little wonder.

“This… criminal,” Percival gestures towards Grindelwald, “not only impersonated a high-ranking official of MACUSA, he _infringed on my copyright_. It is well within my rights to sue. In fact – it is my _duty_ to make certain these crimes of Grindelwald do not go unaddressed. It is my sincerest belief that you will see that justice is served.”

Grindelwald lets out what looks to be a truly impressive scream of impotent rage as the jurors and audience nod sympathetically.

Percival sits and shoots a look at the jurors that causes more than a few tissues to be raised.

“Thank you, Percival. That was… touching. The jury will now meet to discuss the terms of repayment, since the accused cannot afford the fine.”

This, finally, shocks Grindelwald into stillness. Percival can see the revelation spread across his face, and he spares the man a grim smile. There will be no escape for him, now. At least not until he is back on European soil: there is only so much this particularly American brand of magic can accomplish. And even if he does ever get out, he will never be able to enter America again.

Percival arches a brow as Seraphina meets his eyes again. She glares daggers at him, but he shrugs with exaggerated nonchalance. He knows what her final verdict will be, and he knows that without his help—without the luck Credence had brought to their side—she would not have had a leg to stand on. Really, just because it was going to be easy, it doesn’t mean he can’t have a little _fun_. The Goldsteins grin at him fondly when he glances their way as Credence blows him a kiss, and Percival is satisfied. At least someone appreciates the work he put in.

**Author's Note:**

> I. Am. So. Sorry? This has been bouncing around in my head for _months_ , and I finally wrote enough to tame the bunny a bit. It's not great, it's barely even finished, and it still needs a lot of work, but...... idk, I thought it was funny xD  
> It actually all started with something I read in a book I was working on in my last job (2017 was a tough year), and I made a note "No one has a copyright on his own face/ British Copyright Commissioner, 1879" and in March, I thought, "BUT PERCIVAL™" and The Extra™ fic was conceived  
> Happy January! Here's hoping 2018 is an amazing year for all of you!  
> Go ahead and leave a comment if you liked it, if you'd like <3 (also, my birthday is in a week, come wish me a happy birthday ;D)


End file.
